Everybody likes to give advice. It is a way of sharing your knowledge with others and it can make you feel like you are positively influencing somebody’s life.

But not every piece of advice is something you should take heed of; whether it is not applicable to every situation or it is just flat-out wrong. Unfortunately, there is a lot of bad advice out there that cause more problems than they solve.

Therefore, it is important to know what advice is not worth following no matter how common it is. You need to know why it is bad, and what you should actually do. Here are two of the most common pieces of life advice that you would do well to not follow:

Be Yourself

This is one of the first pieces of life advice we hear when we are children, specifically by well-meaning adults and media made for kids. Like all bad pieces of advice, there is some layer of truth to it if you actually dig into the question. However, what makes it bad advice is that it is both too vague and is not widely applicable, despite often being described in a broad way.

What does it mean to be yourself? In our day to day, there are a lot of masks we wear and roles we play. We act differently depending on our social setting and the people we are speaking to, and that is okay. You would not talk to your parents and siblings the way you speak to your significant other or speak to your boss and coworkers like you speak to your close friends. There are different levels of closeness and appropriateness depending on the social situation and just saying “be yourself” is too vague to mean anything. Additionally, if someone has significant character flaws, they may use that advice to justify their poor behavior.

A better piece of advice would be to be the best version of yourself and not to change who you are or want to be. In most situations, you should have an understanding of how to act, talk, and dress around certain people, whether casually, professionally, or even intimately. Not having a grasp on how to act in those situations can cause a lot of problems and should be learned based on each situation. But you should not change the things that make you who you are as a person; Your personality, your opinions, your values, your core beliefs, your wants and dreams, what matters to you and makes you unique.

You should not change or sacrifice those things to appease others, know where your value lies. But you should always be continuously improving yourself and trying to grow as a person. For example, if you are going on a date with someone, do not try to act like someone you are not or act in a way that you think will make them like you more. Trying to change your personality, opinions, or even your beliefs to appease them will cause a lot more problems, since they will not be seeing the real you. With that said, you should also dress properly, be polite, and be open to engaging with the other person.

Follow Your Dreams

Much like the previous piece of advice, this is another faulty one we have been inundated with from a young age. It also has a lot of the same flaws, being too vague and not applicable to many situations. However, as opposed to the previous piece, which can cause someone to stagnate and feel lost, this one can be very destructive to one’s life.

But it must first be said that following your dreams in itself is not a bad thing and can be a good thing. In fact, if there is something in life that you want to do, give it a shot, especially if you are granted an opportunity for it. While it is not guaranteed, a lot of people have found happiness and success in pursuing their passions and have been able to build their lives off of it. If there is something that you want to do with your life, there is no harm in its pursuit. However, the truth is that not a lot of people are going to be able to do that.

Finding success, in any field, is going to be challenging and trying to find it doing what you love is unfortunately uncommon. But that pursuit can be so tempting that they either are not willing to give up on it despite being put in a bad situation or make terrible decisions that ruin their lives. This advice can lead someone to believe that only their dream matters and if they are not able to fulfill it, they are going to end up miserable. What they do not realize is that by hinging their happiness on that dream, they are making themselves miserable and can make them so desperate that they make impulsive decisions that make the situation worse.

Now, that does not mean you have to play it safe, but rather you should know what you want and what matters most to you. This involves not focusing on what your dream is, but everything in your life. You should know what matters most to you, whether that be success, stability, happiness, or family. Thinking it through, knowing the pros and cons, analyzing your path and possible alternatives, and what you are willing to risk or lose. If that means you want to be an artist despite not having a lot of money, then plan for it and make it work. If you want to be an artist, but value your family’s wellbeing and stability more, stick to your day job and create as a hobby. The point is to figure out what you want out of life and plan accordingly, even if it means giving up on your dream because something else is more important.